The fresh wind of Vatican II was sweeping through the Church and the priest who frequently came over to our apartment to play pinochle assured my parents that it would not last.  He explained the new altar, facing the people, was being installed in a way that was reversible, as the priests all thought the change would only be “temporary.”   At mass, my mother continued to make her responses in Latin, as the “vernacular” was not suitable for God.  But I fell in love with the changes. 

Though not in the religious life, I lived my life completely imbued with Vatican II.  Through all the years I tried to live it as best I could within the Catholic Church.  Eventually, I found myself employed in a large parish, under a true Vatican II pastor, and feeling my work contributed to the life of the Church.  There were other women in the diocese who were as dedicated, and I came to understand the wisdom and strength of the parish community had as much to do with them as with the priests.
But then the climate changed. 

Our Vatican II bishop was forced to retire and was replaced by someone intent on changing the dynamics of the diocese.  “Liberal” priests were also forced to retire, even though there was already a shortage of priests.  The new pastors replaced the women pastoral associates with deacons and suddenly speakers for RCIA and sacramental preparation classes had to be approved by the diocese.  Though many were alarmed at the changes, employees of the diocese became careful with the expression of their thoughts because the window of Vatican II had clearly been slammed shut.

The Church and I are estranged.  I am not, however, a “fallen-away” Catholic.  I am a “driven-out” Catholic who left when it became clear that a “smaller, purer Church” could not include the likes of me.  “Catholic” seemed to be anything but universal. Lately, however, I have seen signs of hope.  Pope Francis is a candle in the darkness and as he embraces the marginalized and challenges all to nurture the Earth, I feel the stirrings I associate with justice and peace.  But the Church cannot rise or fall on the personality of the Pope.

The structure of power within the Church must be renewed.  We must look at the Church of the first two thousand years and determine what that organism of faith needs to be in order to see generations through the thousand or more years yet to come, before the Spirit calls for yet another transformation.

Those who insist that any renewal of the Church should be a return to the Church of the past should be called upon to identify the era to which they refer. How far back should renewal go?  To Jesus and the Apostles?  A Vatican II critic priest once told me that we should not go back to the “primitive” Church. Should we look at the Reformation?  Perhaps the Church of the Crusades? 

I studied that the Inquisition sought to crush any secret practice of Islam or Judaism and that, since the church fathers believed that heresy and deviation were hereditary, any evidence of “taint” limited chances of major promotion in the Church. In 1486, even the main religious orders had begun to require “pure blood.”  At one time, the Church condoned slavery.  Church teaching changed because people recognized the injustice inherent in it.  The Church still denies women an equal place at the table.  How will the Church of the future address that?

The intention is not to lift up to the light the many sins of the Church, but only to recognize that the Church has changed over time.  The Church that fearfully condemned Galileo cannot be the instrument of the Holy Spirit in the age of artificial intelligence and space travel.

Instead of larger and larger worship spaces, I think parishes should create small communities of faith.  My most authentic parish experience came in the years I was part of a small faith community within the parish.  In a world of Snapchat and Twitter, the Church must create a structure that will sustain people of faith.  The traditional weekend mass is important, but a person needs to interact with others on a deeper level if faith and community are to be more than just words.

Vatican III should challenge all of us to live up to our faith and to make room for the hurting, the questioning, and the inspiring.  Those who offer the inspiration we need often do not look like what we expect. Perhaps because   the future will not be what we expect.